Mark
'Crispy' Crisp - Creator and exponent of the 'Crispy
Step-over'. Also has a mean swerve-ball. Has an excuse ready for
every eventuality.Andy Loader - Hugs the right wing. In fact hugs anything after a couple of Fosters. Claims two goals when scores with his left foot.
Barrie Darby - Brought back from retirement to fill the ranks. The No. 1 position is his number one position. Falls over when tackled. Falls over when left alone.
Colin 'Metal Mickey' Williams - A late entry this. Half man, half machine. A cyber-footballer, built of spare parts from the Welsh mining industry.
Ivan Fisher - Direct and physical. Absolutely no skill whatsoever !
Joe 'The Toe' McSorley - Strokes the ball delicately, like a plectrum on guitar strings. Plucky as a violinist. Strikes like a big bass drum. Unfortunately, goal-keeps like he's got both hands on his organ.
John Killoran - If it's on his left, don't bother moving. If it's on his right, let him shoot !
Keith Snelling - Stands out at the back like
a stalwart tall wart. Learnt tackling at the
Reservoir Dogs school of football. If shown two shovels and asked
to take his pick, would reach for a scythe. And of course, plays
equally well Home or Away.
Mark Hooker - Hooker by name . . . and likes nothing more than being in the middle of a scrum. Rucks and mauls with relish. Could be playing the wrong game ?!
Mark
'Crispy' Crisp - Creator and exponent of the 'Crispy
Step-over'. Also has a mean swerve-ball. Has an excuse ready for
every eventuality.
Martin Clements - Has taken Bonhomie to a new high. Fair-play Player of the Year from 1999 to 2003, and Players' Player Of The Year for most years since he started playing, some 30 years ago, at the tender age of 37. A quiet leader of men, but not afraid to give a player the benefit of his huge intellect and experience, when needed.
Pete Hazelwood - He's got everything, this young lad. He tackles, he runs, he shoots, he scores. Has the range of passes and goal-keeping ability of Beckham and Seaman. Unfortunately, Beckham is a lousy goalie, and Seaman can't pass ! (Copyright Tommy Cooper, 1974)
Rolf 'Ralf' Hudson - This gazelle has the heart of a lion. You know how Michael Owen is never afraid to shoot ? Well this boy's just like he isn't.
Rob 'No shoes' ... - Fast, decisive and tricky when going forward; crawls back like a bloke on a 10-pint night out, having eaten a large Donar.
Richard 'El' Loader - Fitness, strength, skill, speed - just some of the things he aspires to. Dodgy ankles.
'Tall' Terry White - Telescopic legs and trouser equipment. Can talk the hind legs off a donkey - and now plays footy with them.
Ian Mansell - His bulldog appearance belies the soft centre. A thinking man's Norman Hunter.
This page has been accessed - - times
(since Jan 2004)
Copyright.
Last revised: May 08, 2004.